soundless heartbeats
by Vampirette Knight
Summary: Post-canon. "I hope for your sake you don't die alone, Sasuke." He knew that her wish would be in vain. Sasusaku.


**disclaimer - no ownage.**

**a/n - just experimenting really with this one. Kindof the opposite of jaded eyes and final goodbyes. thoughts?**

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><p><strong>. : : s o u n d l e s s h e a r t b e a t s : : .<strong>

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><p>It was never easy for her to make the decisions she made.<p>

No, never easy for her to defeat Sasori, or lie to Naruto, or try to kill her one and only love.

None of these things were easy for Sakura.

But none were particularly difficult, either.

She teetered on the verge of sanity these days. Konoha, a foreign place in her mind that vaguely registered to her as _home. _Was this how Sasuke felt, so detached from it all? Sakura mused darkly, wandering the empty streets. She'd taken up nighttime strolling as a way to ignore her impending insomnia as of late.

Life as a shinobi was nothing she'd expected as a twelve year old.

Hell, no one knew what to expect, but it sure as hell wasn't _this._

No one thought their teammate would leave, try to _kill them _multiple times (but deep down probably never would have). No one thought their sensei would come so close to death that tears came to their eyes every time they dared think about it. No one thought that Naruto of all people would hold the power of persuasion against almost anyone.

Anyone except the one person that ever mattered to either of them.

Sakura was never one to hide her emotions very well, and until now she never cared to do so.

But sitting in the face of your enemy (ex teammate) with a kunai held to your throat, there aren't many other options that would allow you to keep your Dignity.

Everything was frozen, even time itself.

The fighting, the _cling! clang! _of kunai clashing together halted.

And Sakura swallowed very carefully.

-x-

There were times, like today, where she didn't think about him much. There were days at a time where he didn't enter her mind once.

Sakura didn't know whether to laugh or cry because of this revelation.

All she knew was that it wasn't supposed to be this way, not ever. He wasn't supposed to be hurting _still. _He was supposed to be healing, and not sinking lower and lower every time she saw him.

He was supposed to come back.

Right?

Wasn't that how all the cliché's she imagined in her mind ended?

That Sasuke would defeat his brother in some heroic, intense battle. He'd regain the Honor of his clan and come back a Hero, instantly forgiven by all. He'd be bloody and battered and _of course, _Sakura would have to heal him. That way, she could show him that she wasn't _weak _and _pathetic _anymore.

And he'd close his eyes and tell her how annoying she was when she fawned over him, but everything would be alright because even as he berated her, she'd see that familiar smirk on his face and know that _everything was alright._

Of course.

Those clichés never happened.

And most likely, never would.

-x-

In Sakura's opinion, Sasuke was rather awkward.

Very intense and filled with vast emotion that he'd never ever display, but he was awkward.

She noticed that the night he left.

He wasn't able to really process the weight of what Sakura had admitted to him. Didn't really know how much she means those words. (Meant, not mean. No, no, she doesn't mean them anymore.)

So she couldn't really blame him for doing this, could she?

Naruto never really did.

He was still his bright and cheery self, always holding her together, reassuring her that she'd be okay. He'd make it all better. But inside he was hurting too. He'd lost his best friend, his brother. And yet Naruto never blamed Sasuke for anything he did.

Maybe there was this silent communication between them that Sakura knew she'd never ever have. Part of her was jealous of this, of course.

And quite pissed that Sasuke held so much value to the two of them.

And why the hell couldn't they just let go already?

-x-

When Sakura opened her eyes, there was darkness all around her. The air was cool, chilled with the passing rain and damp with desperation.

She sat up cautiously, scanning the area with a groggy eye.

She let out a humorless laugh.

"To weak to kill, right? Is that all I am?"

In the blink of an eye, a noiseless wind flashed past her and she _felt _more than saw him.

She lifted her gaze to where she supposed his face to be, and daringly grit her teeth, "Why keep me alive to begin with?"

Sasuke didn't reply, merely stood. Her eyes were adjusting to the darkness now, and she could faintly make out his outline in the inky atmosphere.

"It won't be for much longer." He resolved simply.

"Promise?" She mocked, getting to her feet as well.

Desperately, she tried to recall what happened.

"I'm bait, aren't I?"

He tilted his head towards her in silent affirmation.

"You're _pathetic." _She spat out in bitterness.

"Hn."

Sakura gripped her weapon holster and to her utter astonishment, discovered it to be empty.

"Looking for your weapons, Sakura?"

He spoke in a clinical, detached sort of way. Further proving how severed their bond really was.

Sakura didn't reply to his cocky arrogance, only fisted her hands in anger.

If he thought he'd won, he was sorely mistaken.

-x-

If he really thought long and hard about it (which he wouldn't), Sasuke could almost remember her eyes being a lighter green then they were now.

He remembered them being more light, and innocent with her cheerful disposition. Something he always took comfort in.

But then again, those thoughts were cornered somewhere deep in the back of his mind, neglected and left to rot in silence. He tried desperately not to think of either of them, but they were so damned _annoying _most of the time. They just couldn't –

"I won't let you get away with this."

He glanced up, eyes sliding impassively towards the blur of pink. His eyesight was getting worse these days, but he figured he'd ignore it because who the hell would heal him anyway?

He refused to think of the name Sakura.

Sasuke snorted. "You have no power over me."

Sakura looked up at the sky, bound by the wrists, waiting like the bait she was, and smiled.

"That's what you think."

-x-

Nights were the worst.

Sasuke never was one for sleep, especially not after the death (_massacre_) of his family.

He sat atop the trees, looking, scouring for anyone who dared come and rescue that annoying pink haired brat. A scowl formed its way on his face, like an old friend. He heard the rustling of her sleeping bag below, and within seconds, felt her presence beside him.

"It's hard to sleep when you're waiting to die, you know." She murmured vaguely, eyes transfixed on the stars. He glanced at her briefly, noting how her dull green eyes softened slightly. She didn't look worried in the slightest, and she seemed to have this secretive knowledge that would secure her safety in the long run.

Like maybe she thought he couldn't go through with it.

She was in for a rude awakening.

"It's not going to work." He replied in snide.

She shrugged. "It's worth a try though, right? At least I'm not trying to put you on a guilt trip. Although I often wonder if you'd fare well against anyone if they were to truly get to you. Whether you believe it or not, you're very emotionally driven."

Sasuke remained silent, refusing to listen to this tiny, weak, know-it-all of an ex teammate.

"You always used to call me weak for letting my emotions get the best of me, right?" She smiled, lowering her chin to her knee, picking at bark from the branch that they sat on. "But if someone knows how to make you tick, knows the right things to say to you, they could beat you in an instant. You're very swayed by words, Sasuke. You let anger and passion rule your actions." She paused to face him.

"And let me tell you, it doesn't suit you one bit."

"You know nothing." He spat quietly, but somehow knew that Sakura didn't flinch in the slightest at his threat. She knew she had gotten to him.

And that pissed him off all the more.

"Today?" she asked quietly.

"Aa."

She nodded, as if expecting as much. "I hope you know, I have a really kickass escape plan in the back of my mind."

He shifted slightly, not bothered at all by her confession. Why was she telling him such a thing?

"Do you really think Naruto will follow you here to rescue…wait never mind. Don't answer that. Of course he would. But I still don't know why you're even after Naruto in the first place. I refuse to believe you're truly on Akatsuki's side."

"Think what you want, it doesn't matter anyway."

"Oh but it does."

He shrugged.

Sakura walked up to him slowly, and he eyed her warily. His dark orbs pinned her every movement.

"You're really scary sometimes," She teased lightly, "but I'm not intimidated right now. In fact, I think you're actually intimidated by _me._" Sakura giggled as she said this, stepping even close.

Once she was standing less than a foot away from him, she looked up into his eyes and smiled. She knew he wouldn't step backwards, because his stubborn pride held him captive.

He held his hand on his katana, gripping the holster tightly.

"You know, when we were younger I would have dreamed for a moment like this with you." She breathed, her lips inches from his own. She eyed him with a curious intent, as if she was debating what to do.

"I know."

Sakura smiled and leaned back a scant amount.

"But here I am, waiting to escape from a man trying to kill me. It's like you were never important to me."

Sasuke refused to show her _any _signs that her comment had just affected him. Instead, he remained passive, meeting her gaze evenly.

"I hope for your sake that you don't die alone, Sasuke."

This time he _did _step back, appalled that she'd even speak of such a thing.

"Shut up." He spat, glaring at her and gripping his katana even tighter, to the point where his knuckles turned white. And Sakura just smiled knowingly, finally able to see her affect on him.

"See?"

He scowled, gritting his teeth. _I almost liked her better when she was trying to convince me to come back to Konoha._

"I think I'm going to escape now." She decided offhandedly, as if discussing the weather. Then, giving him a wicked grin, bowed quickly to him.

"Ja ne, Sasuke."

She hopped up into the trees, and Sasuke didn't hesitate in following behind her after muttering a few colorful curses.

Unsheathing his katana, he sped up until he was right behind her. He swung hard, bringing his weapon down into her shoulder. Her eyes widened, as if she weren't expecting that, and blood splattered all over him.

For a moment, he flashed back to the Chuunin Exams, when he saw her all bloodied up. How enraged he'd become to see someone hurt her. And now _he _was the one inflicting pain upon her. IT didn't matter though, those bonds were lost.

And just when he thought he won, there was a _poof! _and Sakura disappeared.

Sasuke threw away his katana in anger.

Fuck, she'd tricked him.

He paused, staring out into the distance. She was probably miles from here already. Despite the fact that he blew the plan, there was only one thing that kept circulating his head.

"_I hope for your sake that you don't die alone, Sasuke."_

Sasuke looked up, stopping in the midst of all the chaos, and took in a deep breath.

He knew her wish would be in vain.

-x-

Tears streamed down Sakura's face as she masked her chakra. Her limbs were heavy with guilt, but her mind raced with conflicting messages.

_It's for his own good. He can't sink any lower than this. We can't watch him destroy himself…_

She closed her eyes as her legs ran back to where she left Sasuke.

If she really convinced herself this was for the best, perhaps one day she would actually believe it. Far too many times, she was too scared to do what was asked of her.

This was one of the times she'd have to suck it up.

Still, that didn't make it any easier.

As silent as possible, she stood on a branch right above him.

Her gaze, hardened and determined, her thoughts turned dark. _He trusted me once upon a time, and here I am about to betray him._ Still, it's his fault. Sakura bit the inside of her cheek, watching as he closed his eyes in a brief moment of inner grief. He was probably reflecting on everything that led him to this point, much like what Sakura was doing.

If she ever had to imagine herself in this position, she wouldn't be able to do it.

The wind swayed, gently tousling her hair. She jumped down with silent grace, not faltering as her kunai appeared from her hand. She gripped it tightly, resolving that he just tried to do the same to her, and why the hell did they have to be so damned tragic?

As she aimed the kunai right for his heart, a sickening feeling rose up in the pit of her stomach.

No matter how she tried justifying this, his complete _shock _as he turned around (a second too late) and met her gaze as the kunai embedded itself into his back. She felt it pierce through his lungs and pushed it deeper into him, until she saw blood coming from his mouth.

Sakura knew his eyes would haunt her for the rest of her life, as they both silently fell to the ground, and a gasp – a wisp – of a sound emitted from his throat, gurgling and weak,

"Sakura."

The sobs broke from her throat, a pain in her chest too strong to contain as she pulled his limp body close to her, cradling the two of them together. And only after his eyes closed did she press her lips to his feverishly, already wishing that the last two seconds didn't just happen.

It was never easy for Sakura to make the decisions she made.

Never easy to take it upon herself to gather the strength to kill Sasuke. To abandon him in his worst time of need, in his most defenseless state.

"Sasuke…Sasuke…"

Her tears dripped down onto Sasuke's face, and an eternity could have passed and Sakura wouldn't have known it. She didn't want to leave him, _couldn't _leave him. Couldn't let them find his body. The sun set well before Sakura's sobs died down.

All because she wouldn't allow him to sink any lower.

No, none of this was easy for Sakura.

But it wasn't particularly difficult, either.

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><p><strong>. : : f i n : : .<strong>

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><p><strong>Err, review? :3<strong>


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